So, when the milestone of 75 arrived, the destination was never in question: her absolute favorite place in the world, New York City.
Of course, getting to 75 came with a minor logistical quirk. When writing her book, Vivi and Me, the year prior, she assumed the publishing process would stretch out over a long period. Anticipating a longer timeline, she preemptively aged herself to 75 in the manuscript. In reality, the book was completed in just a few months. Once finished, 74 suddenly felt far less bold, brave, or marketable than 75. And so, she officially adopted the age ahead of schedule—a somewhat unusual choice for a woman, but one she embraced with humor. Now that she has genuinely reached the age of 75, she finds herself celebrating all over again, joking that she is perhaps not quite as young as she was last year when she was also claiming the exact same age.
I Adore New York City
To understand her connection to New York is to understand a deep affection for sensory immersion. She loves everything about the metropolis: the theater, the arts, world-class museums, eclectic music, the eccentric characters populating the sidewalks, the comforting aroma of street-corner hot dogs, and the unexpected surprises waiting around every corner.
New York is, by its very nature, a sensory overload—a dynamic cacophony of sights, sounds, smells, and tastes that can easily tilt toward overwhelming or magnificent, depending on the observer. For decades, it has always been the latter for her.
Until this most recent trip.
The shift was not born of any dramatic transformation within the city itself, though neighborhoods continually evolve. Rather, the change originated entirely within her.
Just one week prior to her arrival in Manhattan, a visit to an ophthalmologist in Ecuador delivered unsettling news regarding her eyesight. She received diagnoses for four potentially serious conditions, alongside the prospect of further medical testing and the sobering possibility that her vision might be in jeopardy. For an individual who engages with and experiences the world so vividly through sight, the diagnosis carried a profound emotional weight.
Suddenly, New York Took on a Different Meaning
Walking through the autumn streets, familiar sights suddenly carried a heightened gravity. The afternoon light filtering through changing autumn leaves, the rich patina on an old wooden storefront sign, the golden glow of sunset reflecting off towering skyscrapers, and the bright, focused bow of a street violinist performing in Central Park all took on a deeper resonance.
The underlying question hung heavy in the air: What if someday those sights were no longer there to witness?
Every single image appeared infinitely more precious, more significant, and profoundly worth remembering. Yet, alongside this appreciation came an unexpected internal shift. She found herself becoming remarkably tentative.
It was a specific word that continued to surface in her thoughts. She was not necessarily frightened of New York, nor did she feel overly vulnerable in a conventional sense; rather, she felt tentative.
That hesitation revealed itself in subtle ways—in the cautious manner she stepped off curbs, watched the chaotic flow of traffic, tracked the unpredictable movements of racing bicycle messengers, and navigated the steep subterranean stairs of the subway stations. When something caught her eye, she found herself making a deliberate choice to stop completely rather than glancing at it while rushing through the crowd. She was far more conscious of her footing and significantly more deliberate in every physical movement.
It was an adjustment she initially resisted. Looking up the definition of tentative confirmed her experience: a movement or action performed hesitantly, cautiously, and without the usual underlying confidence.
Had I Lost Some of My Confidence?
Honesty required an affirmative answer. She had indeed lost a measure of her former physical assurance.
The human body simply does not respond the exact same way it did during the years she lived and worked in Manhattan. Arthritis has set in, movements are naturally slower, and everyday aches and pains demand an attention they never used to command. Paired with the looming uncertainty surrounding her vision, it served as an uncomfortable realization that physical independence can never be entirely taken for granted.
Yet, these physical realities did not manage to halt her itinerary.
True to form, she attended the theater, walked the bustling streets for hours on end, shopped, explored the vibrant cultural landscape of Harlem, dined in exceptional restaurants, attended a publishing event at Rockefeller Center, and eventually escaped to the quiet countryside for her actual birthday. She accomplished every item on her agenda and more; she simply executed them with a slightly different rhythm.
Somewhere along the way, as she navigated the crowded avenues, a new perspective began to take shape. Was being deliberate inherently a negative thing?
Perhaps Slowing Down Meant Noticing More
It is entirely possible that caution is merely another manifestation of deep attention. She was, without question, paying attention to New York in a manner she had never managed before. Every architectural nuance, every shade of autumn foliage, and every unexpected human encounter carried heightened meaning.
The underlying reality was simple: she had become acutely aware that there are no absolute guarantees in life.
That realization was reinforced during an evening out with two friends over dinner. When she mentioned her newfound sense of tentativeness, one of her companions—a lifelong, die-hard New Yorker—surprised her by admitting she experienced the exact same internal landscape.
Her friend’s hearing had evolved over time, making the relentless, roaring noise of the city overwhelming at times. Additionally, two knee replacement surgeries had made her far more cautious about walking through crowds. She, too, found herself hyper-aware of speeding cyclists, dense sidewalks, and the relentless, breakneck pace of Manhattan life.
She Used the Word Vulnerable
While their specific physical challenges differed, the emotional resonance was identical, and they understood each other instantly. Sharing that experience provided an immense sense of relief.
Naturally, the conversation did not physically alter their circumstances. Her upcoming eye evaluations remained on the calendar, her arthritis was not going to vanish, and New York City certainly had no intention of slowing its relentless pace to accommodate them.
However, the realization that an unsettling, seemingly private experience was shared by others offered a profound comfort. Perhaps that is one of the quiet gifts of growing older: shedding the need to pretend that everything feels exactly as it once did, finding the freedom to discuss physical changes openly, and discovering shared solidarity in the process.
She continues to celebrate. She remains deeply curious, endlessly excited, profoundly grateful, and completely enamored with New York City. She simply moves through it with a little more hesitation these days.
And perhaps, in the end, that is entirely acceptable. There is, after all, considerable merit in slowing down just enough to truly see the world unfolding around you.
